Jon's Blog

10 weeks after 10 weeks

2011-10-22T03:08:00.001-07:00

This has been probably one of the few times I've stayed up past 2:30 since I came back home from Virginia. And I really don't want to sleep just yet. Sure, I'm super exhausted, every bone in my body aches, and there is no reason why I should lay down on my makeshift bed to go to sleep for a handful of hours just to start a new day.

I realized it has been 10 weeks since I left Virgina. I miss it dearly. I am homesick for the life I had over in Virginia, and memories pop up left and right, and I itch to sit down and have a deeply rooted conversation about a person's life and how God is a part of the madness. Though I run with my arms wide open towards what I have now - a loving church and an amazing ministry with an amazing staff, a family and girlfriend whom I (try to) see once a month, and an abundance of love - i do look over my shoulder, wondering if I will have an opportunity to do Chaplaincy once again. I miss my supervisor/fellow office chaplains, my peers who were residents and in the program. I miss saying hi to medical staff, walking up and down the hospital, wearing a beeper, sitting in drug dependency group sessions, and just being in a room with a person.

But like I said, I am a better person. Although I itch to have those deep conversations, I realize that I can read people a lot clearer and understand their emotions with some clarity. I understand that my need to do stuff around the church is greater than my time or resources will always allow, and so my practice in self-care has been more important than ever. And that my memories of Virginia will always be a source of inspiration, both in my ministries that I am doing now and in the future, as well as my faith journey to take the path that God leads you.

In response...

2011-09-19T09:46:00.000-07:00

I wrote this email in response to an article written by Steve Lopez of the LA times

Hello Steve,

My name is Jon Visitacion, and currently I'm a High School Youth Coordinator/pastor for a church in the south bay. This past Summer, I interned as a chaplain in a hospital setting and experienced being spiritually present with patients and loved ones going through some of the darkest times of their lives.

When I came back to my church, I gave a testimony about my experiences, which led to one of the church members handing me an article dated back on 7-17-11 titled "Floundering in the Dark" and dealt with the business of dying. From your article, I can relate from the 'outside looking in' that dying is a bit more complicated in terms of emotions and finances. I got to work with a hospital team called "palliative care" where all of the diagnoses and options of care were laid out on the table. It is done in hopes that the patient and family's wishes are fulfilled to the best of their ability, being completely informed of each direction the doctors, nurses, and chaplains can go. With that said, I saw a patient who, with the support of her family, requested to be brought back to life at all costs. I couldn't imagine the cost that the family incurred by being in MICU for months or the multiple ER visits.

I guess that is all to say that I understand what you mean when you say the "business of dying." It is a business, and in your definition it is meant by the last few years/months/weeks/days that there is a cost, and as we age we do not prepare ourselves for the emotional or financial cost as we get closer and closer towards the end of our life. Although we may not age well, we must try to make the attempts in whatever way we can.

What gets people through the business of dying is the support of family, friends, and their faith. Like how you wrote that your father fell to the ground and couldn't get up and then your mother laid beside him in the dark, we hope that there will be someone who holds us when we're alone in the dark. I really appreciate the words you wrote, and will be keeping you in my prayers as you go through this journey with your father.

Take care, and God Bless,

Jon

A reflection in music

2011-09-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

All at once, the world can overwhelm you.

And you think that you have it under control but you realize that the ground you stand on isn't as firm as you thought it was, and you fall. We keep asking ourselves if we're strong enough, but we change in midstream.

To make the world better.
To make the people happier.
To make our lives easier.
To make the event more successful.

In light of the musical, amidst my frustrations, I think we get caught up in doing things better, simpler, faster, and from different perspectives, that we lose our own group understanding. That's when the frustration comes: when people want to change, and others are not ready. The change is for the common good, but if it was good already, there's no need to change. All-in-all, the musical ran well. The dinner ran well. The youth, advisors, and adults did well. The kitchen staff did well, and the cast did amazing. And I got to hang out with my advisors. And I got to thank my youth. And I got to hang out with my youth.

So eventhough i was frustrated, I really am grateful for what God has given us: through hardwork, we have dedication. Through time off, we have fellowship. Through silly-ness, we have memories. Through it all, we have music.

Thank you God, thank you Faith UMC, thank you youth, parents, advisors, adults, congregation and community.

There's a world we've never seen
There's still hope between the dreams

Rain

2011-09-10T09:38:00.000-07:00

Wait, did that just happen in socal on the first week of fall?

Yeah, it just rained. I woke up to the sound of rain. After all of the frustration I had last night, both internally and with whats going on in the musical, it was a blessing to hear it. It was another trigger of Virginia, a reminder that would come every week or so. That while it would be so hot that you couldn't breathe, there would come a day that the rains would come and cool down everything, and quench everyone's thirst.

The rain cooled me down, i'm not worried about today, wish i could have played in the rain but i was wearing nice clothes by then. But, today will be a good day.

all at once

2011-09-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

I'm still caught up by everything and it's tying with the stress of chaplaincy. Probably one of those moments where my CPE program is transferring to what i'm doing now.

I'm just not sure why i'm feeling similarities between the stress/uncomfortable feelings I had then and the stress/uncomfortable-ness I have now. I just find myself listening to "all at once" by jack johnson with my face in my hands, wanting to release all the emotions I have. But I shed no tears because I'm not sad. Not angry. I'm not calm or happy either at this moment.

And so, I sit and pray, hoping God sheds some light onto my life, not that an answer will come down like a lightning bolt, but to be present. Present amidst my own struggles, and the mad rush of this musical. Present in my life that is torn at the moment. Present where I have three places to live but nowhere to call home at the moment. Present in my relationship with Mika. Present in the new adventures of work/church. Present amidst my school loans.

I guess I've been wanting to get that off of my chest for a while. The stress of the musical and all of its "fun-ness" seems to have brought me back to a reality that I need God, and God has never left me.

Amen to that.

Why are musicals so stressful?

2011-09-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

Amidst trying to move and get ready for the new year, the church is throwing their annual musical performance. And every year the cast does an amazing job, and have heard nothing but positive comments of the music and the performers.

So why is everyone so stressed out?

I look at everyone and they're not necessarily irritated, but just exhausted. Burned out.

Just done. With everything.

It bothers me, but I have no answer or no real reflection. If you were to ask why people help, you would get a range of answers: I love to sing, I love to hear singing, I love to help the church, someone asked me to help out, it goes to a good cause, and I don't have anything better to do.

I guess I'm torn between the benefits and the costs of this ministry. Does it benefit everyone? Does it cost everyone? I'm not sure I could say yes or no for either of these questions.

Change for good

2011-09-07T00:19:00.000-07:00

As I sit in the church watching the congregation get ready for their musical, one of the members began singing a song from Wicked...at least I think it was from wicked. I latched onto the words of the chorus, which kept echoing the words, "change for good".

It moved me, even though most of the change I was initially dealing with. I have a sprained ankle and a pulled back, and I'm trying to move into an area which people have warned me about. I'm trying to get back into the mood of doing youth work, but it's not transitioning well, as I've been trying to juggle the upcoming events for the HS youth group.

Change for good. As much as I can complain about, I AM SO GRATEFUL. I'm not afraid of the area, as I've been to places more ghetto in Fresno and I felt that there are places in Virginia could rival it. My neighbors are nice and watch out for each other. But most of all, I"M CLOSER TO WORK. Work is getting more stressful because I'm given more tasks and more responsibilities. It should be awesome! Mika's coming down more cuz her sister Mari moved down!

Change for good. I am happy, counting my blessings, loving my loved ones, and reuniting with my youth. Amen.

Closure

2011-08-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

God, it's been two weeks since my CPE program, and the last time I blogged. Most of the 7 day drive back home either had no internet, or I was too tired to make full sentences. I plan to blog about that when I have more time, but let me just say it was awesome to see the youth mission team in Alabama and Rachael in Vegas, and a big THANK YOU to Chad for helping me drive back home to Los Angeles.

But when I got back home, I didn't feel like I was home. I hugged part of my house when I got back, but then opened the door to find that my roommate was already in the process of moving. I'm not irritated about him already packing, but when I saw all the boxes stacked in the house, my home didn't feel like home anymore.

I got to hang out with Mika and her mom and sister, and it was really nice to see my girlfriend and her family. Mari (Mika's sis) was moving into the dorms that weekend, and so I got to spend time with Mika as much as I could. I drove up to Fresno to see family and my nephew got bigger! he now mumbles, and my sis (Chari) wants me to play with him more so he can start calling me "uncle". After spending two days with Mika and her family, then spending two days with my own family, I came back to my own house, realizing that between the boxes and my junk, I felt more comfortable being in my office.

It gave me reason to work on my sermon that I gave today, and I worked in my office, and then stayed overnight for two nights because of the amount of driving as well as the meetings I needed to be at church and that the water heater went out at my house.

So, as I wrote about my summer and how it felt being a chaplain, the meetings were great reunions. It's amazing to just spend time with friends because that seemed to be a constant factor for my disconnect from being back home. I had dinner with my roommate, which was really fun because we caught up on everything.

So today, I gave my message. I told many stories about what I did this past summer, what I saw, what I heard, and how God was working through it all. My buddy Chad is trying to put it online so if he gets the sermon on the internet i'll pass it out to everyone because I was really proud of what I said. I was really proud of what I did. People tell me that I have a level of confidence that I never had before. And some congregation members began telling me their valleys and "chaplain Jon" immediately kicked in.

As I pack and get ready to move to my new place, I recognize that today was good closure to what is about to come soon. I was afraid that my new identity would be lost, but it seems to be "merged" with who I was. I am finally coming to the understanding that I did change, and am beginning to feel comfortable being in my own skin. And I was welcomed with open arms by everyone: my girlfriend, family, roommate, friends, and church members.

Thank you.

5 Hours

2011-08-12T04:27:00.000-07:00

I finished my last paper and saw my last patient yesterday. Today is a day for celebrating how much I grew for the past 10 weeks, and how much all of the Summer interns and graduating residents have been part of this hospital.

Congratulations to Nancy and Ron for completing a year of residency, you were great mentors.

Congratulations to Curtis S., and I hope that you keep reaffirming your calling in Chaplaincy.

Congratulations to Courtney, and good luck in your travels abroad to the middle east.

Congratulations to Curtis B., and I hope that you and Mandy have a good one this year at seminary in S.C.

Congratulations to Barbara, and I wish you the best of luck in seminary this coming year in Gettysburg.

48 hours

2011-08-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

I have two days left in my program. Yeah.

So why am I frustrated? I think it's because it's ending, and as all of us in the program have written evals and we were all supposed to read them. So it may be a little lack of sleep. It could also be that I'm pondering stuff back home: hotels, driving, money, sermon, AC, moving, 2nd job.

I ask that you pray for me tonight or whenever you read this. Not that I feel bad or anything, maybe a lil cathartic (yeah, I just looked it up). I got a lot out of the program, but I know I'm hard on myself and I think that is why I feel like this: that there may have been things I could have done better eventhough I did my best and no one second-guessed my ability, or the fact that time is out and whatever feelings I have should be pushed aside for the next thing, or the understanding that this opened new doors of opportunity and reflection that it's making me anxious with so many decisions.

Sometimes I find that it is hard to be ok with what I have done, or sit in gratefulness of what I've accomplished, or be content with some of the simple things I do. I will tell you this, I don't regret one day in the CPE program or any of the difficult times I've had both inside and outside the hospital, because I am so proud and humbled by being in the room and being a witness of God's work in a patient's life.

Thoughts

2011-08-09T19:49:00.000-07:00

This is my last week in the program. In fact, three more days after this. I've been packing and writing my final paper. You may have heard that last friday was my last overnight at the hospital and I HAD NO CALLS!!! Kinda amazing.
I'm sad that the program is coming to an end.
I'm happy to go home.
I'm grateful that I could be with so many patients and see God being present with them.
I'm angry that I didn't see an alpaca.
I'm humbled that countless people have affirmed my calling into ministry.
I'm excited to get ready for next year in MYF.
I'm excited to bring what I learned back home.
I'm ready to make a difference.

Alpaca!?!?!

2011-08-09T19:44:00.000-07:00

First off, I just wanted to say thank you for all the birthday wishes, and I appreciate you all and love you all. Want to know what I did? Well, inspired by Jessica, I went on an alpaca hunt and went to the zoo. So I forgot that the zoo's were outside and it was hot on my birthday, so being the fool I was, I wore jeans outside. Even more so than usual, I got a two-for-one on a chicken sandwich at a fast food joint and didn't want to leave it in the car or else it would spoil. So for two hours, I walked around the Zoo looking for an alpaca in the hot sun wearing Jeans that had a hot chicken sandwich stuffed inside. I saw, lions, tigers, BUT NO ALPACAS!! The zoo lady even lied to me saying that they had a llama, but they didn't even have that. I left in disarray, heading next to the Chrysler Museum. I found a free admission ticket in my desk drawer and felt called to go. Inside was a huge section of glassware, similar to what you see at amusement parks where you throw dimes on. I am a fan of art, but I don't spend hours staring at it and I don't read all the comments and stuff. I look, take a picture, and leave. And that's what I did. Oh, and they had a curious george exhibit, which was cool (btw, did you know that curious george actually had brothers and sisters?). After that, it was around 5ish and I passed by a hat shop in a shady area of town. So I went in and bought what i was looking for: a new ivy hat. still not hungry for dinner, I drove as far east as I could to make it to the beach. Didn't go in the water, can't swim with jeans and shoes on. Felt awkward to be at the beach wearing that, so I left and went home. Oh, and I did end up seeing an alpaca. It was the next day, on TV.

Luck

2011-08-03T19:09:00.000-07:00

So, this is the post where I'll talk about luck...

I'm not really a superstitious person, but I do notice things that would...freak other people out. For example. I drive by a house that owns 4-6 black cats. Freaks me out every day because I don't want a "bad" day at the hospital...whatever that means. You NEVER tell pepole that it seems quiet on the floor, because you jinx them later.

Amidst of all the superstition, I think of how lucky I am and have been throughout this program. Sure, there's been tough times, but I've always had people looking out for me. I had people supporting me both near and far. I got to meet people who are struggling through life and still have faith in God. I've seen miracles done by God on patients over many years, 2 hour alcohol-dependency group sessions, and in two minutes. And that last one about the two minutes, the guy needed CPR for about 30 min. The doctor asked the family if they could stop, the family said no. The doctor gave his staff two more minutes and in those two min they were able to get his heart beating on its own.

Luck...
I'd rather call it a blessing...
a miracle...
God's presence...
faith...

Angry People

2011-08-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

Today was the day for angry people. They're kinda funny, because they're sometimes rediculous of the reasons why they're mad. But you feel bad for those who have good reason to be mad.

So I will talk about three angry patients I had today. I will let you come to your own conclusions what made them angry and if they're valid. I'll just tell you what I walked into.

Patient #1 was irate because of three major things. First, they were mad that they waited for 7 hours in ER because ER and the floors were not communicating even though his regular doctor made an appt. for him to be admitted. What made things worse is that the food in his words "sucks so bad that they shouldn't even call it food." His last argument was that nurses could actually say what they're doing without actually barging into the room and take blood like a vampire in the night. I told him that I was sorry, I would pray that he goes home soon, and left. Can't change the past, Can't cook food for him, and I am not the one with the needles.

Patient #2 was asleep...though her caretaker was telling me that she went all crazy on the nurses. No exact details because she didn't actually witness the events, but it was wierd that she was perfectly normal the day before with no issues. Her outburst was assumed to be associated with her dementia. I told the caretaker that I was grateful for her presence now, and will be praying for her.

Patient #3 was calm although irritated to no end. Why? Similar to #1, with an issue with food and waiting for doctors and nurses to help them. Why was she calm? There was family in the room.

Chaplaincy has a level of bedside manner that equates to "customer satisfaction." Yes we report when staff do a bad job. But hospital food is highly controlled...If you're a patient and you're sick, the first thing to control while your admitted are the things you put in your body. ER waiting rooms are large because they accomodate a large number of people and therefore you wait a long time. If you can make reservations through your doctor that is awesome. But more than likely, triage nurses assess whether or not you can wait or not. Sometimes the patient can't help it due to behavioral issues. It's not exactly their fault, and so you have to be accepting of where they're coming from.

Anger is an emotion, and not uncommon if the patient feels anxious, frustrated, or helpless due to the fact that they cannot fix your own body. Truth is, just like those who have behavioral issues, it's not exactly their fault either and you have to be accepting of where they're coming from. They're not always mad at you (though sometimes they are).

Sometimes meeting them in their darkest moment is to accept the emotions that accompany them as well.

10

2011-08-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. My last two posts were last friday, and they were on facebook because I did my overnight and can't access my blog. So please, go read them there, though i can cut and paste them here if you would like.

Thanks to Megan Yamamoto, the Masukanes and the Tondo's for the care packages. Definitely it has gotten me out of Charlie Brown syndrome. Probably as another update is that for those who were planning on mailing me stuff, I want to let you know that I'll be closing my mailbox on the 12th of next week, and trying to forward mail back to Torrance as early as the 10th.

Well, how am I doing? glad you didn't ask that last week, because it was quite irritating. I felt like I was making mistakes, and I was frustrated that I was learning office/department "policy" in the last three weeks of my internship. God that made me mad. Teach me that on the 3rd day, not the 3rd to last week.

I have 10 days left in the program, and 8 of them are working days. At this moment, I like "Chaplain Jon" as a visible figure not only to patients, but to staff as well. It's not that I don't feel comfortable...that could be a blog post in itself to describe how far I came. But the hospital itself is so compartmentalized that it would be uncommon to know a staff member from another department and even more uncommon if they actually worked together. But as a chaplain, I interact with the ICU, the regular floors, and the psych floors. Sure, some of the nurses ignore me, but I don't mind because they're supposed to be busy and not focused on me. But it is uplifting to know that you are referred to from the units you work with most. I'm not afraid to step into a room with patients...because I learned that they're people too. The only difference I have seen is that their brokeness has personified into something much more physical than everyone else. But everyone is spiritual, everyone is trying to understand life, and everyone defines a higher power (even in those extreme cases where they define themselves as God.).

So, How am I doing? I feel like a chaplain. Some days are good, some are not, but the caring for others have never left. I did not grow to "care" for others, but I understand the power of it and how it can be used to transform lives through God. For that, I hope I never lose that sense of caring for others.

Dinner Party

2011-07-24T19:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was invited over to a dinner thrown by the parents of Curtis, a friend of mine in the CPE program. I had an amazing time with Curtis’ family: getting to meet his wife, his mother and father, his sister, his son and his wife and child, and a couple whom I wasn’t sure if they were neighbors or close friends. In any case, for two hours, I shared a dinner with them and got to know their family and how they interacted with one another. It completely reminded me of my own family back home and things that I miss.

Here’s an example: they have a dog named Buttons who is full of energy. Totally reminds me of my sister’s dogs, Kobe and Roxy…Mika’s dog Suki…and even Kyle’s dogs Nike and Radar.

This has been the first time in 9 weeks that I’ve felt some taste of home. I liked it. And because of that, I miss it. Aside from those feelings, what I felt most is sense of belonging that I haven’t felt since I’ve been back. I now feel like I belong in the CPE program – like I sorta know what I’m doing and won’t panic if I make a mistake. But what I’m talking about is a sense of belonging for being “Jon”. And although I do connect with people very intimately and personally every day in the hospital, I’ve been missing the connections and relationships with people outside of work. Luckily we live in a modern age of cell phones and Facebook/Google+/Skype, you can’t take them to movies or to burger king or even just to get gas across the street.

So, I just wanted to say, thank you to Curtis and his parents, Ron and Joyce (sorry if I'm spelling this wrong!) for allowing me into your home for a dinner that was well appreciated. Not just for the food (BECAUSE I AM A MAN WHO LIVES TO EAT), but also because of the company, the warmth, and the acceptance.

Week 7 part 2

2011-07-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

Although the title is named after Harry Potter, that's as far as it goes.

For me this week, I feel like I have been at a crossroads of many things. For me, this is the ending of my 7th week in the CPE program. Homesickness hit me a little bit. Getting in the groove of being a chaplain a little bit. I was asked today by Frances, one of my mentor staff chaplains, "what's something that you are going to take back with you when you're done with the program?"

I answered, but eventually boiled it down to this:

"I'm going to take home the people."

I'm changed by listening to the lives of others, by hearing joys, fears, frustrations, and anger in their hearts from the past and present. I looked in the mirror and did not recognize myself. This week I have felt homesick, saddened, empathetic, frustrated (driving...), and confused. This week I was told I was the "cute chaplain" by another patient, I felt respected and now recognized by the nurses, and I was complimented by the other chaplains.

I am happy that I'm doing well. I am sad that I'm not home. I'm frustrated that my calling seems to be more and more complex. I'm humbled by seeing God work wonders in people's lives both physically and spiritually.

Aside from all this, God's presence is in me and also in others. The interactions that I've had with patients and family members...nurses and doctors, mentors and peers... all of them were interactions with the Spirit working in the room.

Call me insightful, confused, enlightened, humbled, right, wrong, a leader, a follower, a servant, a listener, a storyteller. I am all of them. I am whatever God will work best through. I am who I am.

Week 7

2011-07-18T18:17:00.000-07:00

Week 7...crazy eh?

I've been in this CPE program for 6 weeks, been gone from LA for the past 8 weeks...

24 days until I drive home but who's counting? :)

I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to get home. I think i'll mail back my books and clothes...and now i'm in non-food purchases until everything is gone.

BTW, to everyone who's sent me letters and packages, thank you very much :) I jump up and down in the post office like a little school girl every time I get something.

Harry Potter

2011-07-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

So I got out of my shell and went to go watch Harry Potter by myself. I didn't want to sit with huge crowds, so I forked out the extra dough to go watch it in 3D. It was good, as it ended the Harry Potter series, and now feel inspired to actually go and read the books.

But as I left the theater, I was not exactly thinking to myself, "wow that was an epic movie" or "why does Hermoine keep hugging Harry Potter if she likes Ron?" I left the theater kinda sad, probably from a combination of watching the movie and reflecting on my work. You see a person die in the movie, it reminded me of seeing a person die in real life. In essense, I felt the same emotions I did when I'm called into patients rooms to talk about a crisis.

It happens to everyone within their own context. When I was in HS in band, I could take any song and put notes to it. When I started being a camp counselor in college, I would be able to make games from junk. When I became a youth advisor, I would be able to make youth lessons from cartoons and TV. When I started to learn how to be a pastor, I could imagine sermons, prayers, and talks.

As I enter into this new context, I see that it makes sense to feel these things and associate them together. A death is a death, a loss is a loss, and grief in the movie is still grief.

Gratitude for Nurses

2011-07-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

I sat with a patient today watching her give medicine to a patient through a feeding tube directly to his stomach.

I was in awe...for the fact that the nurse knew exactly how to measure, and stick the syringe in the patient, but the fact that she did not once squirm, flinch, make faces, or say any awkward comments.

Stereotypically considered to be a "women's" profession, I clearly doubt any understanding of knowing this. Not only I have seen many male nurses (I know at least three off the top of my head who I consider to be family, and one who is family) who are good at what they do. I have also seen many of the tasks that nurses do...many of which I would never ever categorize it as a "women's" chore.

To anyone reading this who is NOT a nurse or a med tech for that matter...

I dare you to try to clean up "foreign matter" off the ground.
I dare you to try to stick a needle into people over, and over, and over.
I dare you to not get freaked out by sticking your hand into the crotch of a 300lb patient to see if they have a pulse.
I dare you to wash a stranger.
I dare you to convince a patient for a life-saving technique when not only the patient, but the patient's family says no.
I dare you to do chest compressions/CPR on a person by yourself for 10 min.
I dare you to try to put up with doctors, family members, and anyone else while still trying to keep a smile for the patient.

So thank you nurses in hospitals, ambulances, senior homes, military branches, homes, and other places. Thank you for dealing with obnoxious patients. Thank you for cheering us up when we don't want to go to the hospital. Thank you for taking care of us, even if we do meet on bad circumstances. Thank you for giving us meds when we need them, and running to our rescue, even if that means we need a pillow or a blanket. Thank you for being there when we needed you most, even if that means bringing us back from the dead.

Charlie Brown Syndrome

2011-07-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

haha, what a ironic world...

So about the 1-2 week here, I bought a mailbox, just to separate my mail from the rest of the house, and to just to make sure that my mail was safe since I wouldn't be home most of the day. I paid an amt for about twice the length I was going to be here, because 6 months was the shortest length of time. It was fine.

I've been telling everyone...everyone not to mail me any packages. I appreciate all the love and everything, but there's two things I possibly could need over here. First is food, and I have access to food and it would cost way too much to send me food, so yeah, that doesn't make too much sense. The second is that eventually in about a month, I will be driving back home, and I will have to figure out a way how to get everything back to LA. It was cramped already driving back home...

But I have charlie brown syndrome. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, watch the old cartoons when Charlie brown is looking in his mailbox for a valentines care or a christmas card...nothing is ever found in the mail box. I only check my mailbox twice a week, and I don't expect anything in my mail box...and when I drive up to the post office, look for box 7813, I get out my key, turn the lock, and.........

nothing.

I go home.

I shouldn't say that I haven't gotten anything, Mika has sent me a package from Minnesota that cracked me up. I'm just saying that Charlie Brown Syndrome comes from two major factors. One is just missing home. The other is paying almost $40 for a PO box. haha...I don't know exactly what to say other than the fact that I put this on myself, and just thought you would get a kick out of it. And don't get me wrong, no one did anything wrong, i'm not forgotten, lot of ppl have been in contact with me.

It's just this stupid mail box is something that raises up my hopes and crushes it every time I get there!

:)

Exhale

2011-07-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

So last Friday on my usual overnighter at the hospital, I experienced the hardest on-call night I ever had to deal with. I was called to 4 code blues (situations where a patient has gone into cardiac arrest) for three different people. I only got 2.5 hours of sleep that night.

It is the spiritual care dept. policy for every chaplain to go to every death in the hospital and every code blue on your units assigned. On nights you are staying overnight, you go to every death and code blue in the entire hospital. Most of the time it's good, but some times the nights are rough, as it was this past Friday.

I say this because the last two code blues, the patients were put on ventilators (breathing assistance). When their family finally came to the hospital, they explained to the doctors and nurses that the patients never wanted to be placed on life-saving machines, including ventilators.

So that morning, after the 4 code blues, I was there to witness 2 deaths. But this morning was much different as well, because I stood there with the family as one of the patients were extubated (ventilator tubes pulled out), and the patient's breathing slowly stopped on their own. I have been present during a code blue to witness a death, but never in the room to actually watch a person die. It was every emotion that you could think of: joy in celebrating the life of the patient, sorrow in seeing the end of a life, anger of the abruptness of losing a loved one and not being able to do anything, grateful to hold their hands in their last few moments of life, and just shock due to the reality of the situation. It was beautiful. It was frustrating. It was a moment in which God could only be present, acting in the situation, feeling all of these emotions, and supporting everyone.

One of the philosophies I teach to everyone is just to breathe. I realize that it holds more weight than I could ever expect.

Suffering

2011-07-06T19:03:00.000-07:00

So, with chaplaincy comes a few topics that you have to explore and wrestle with. One of those topics is suffering. No body likes it, and if you do, please see a psychiatrist.

But seriously, in a hospital, you see a lot of people in pain and with pain comes suffering. Whether it is physical or emotional. As a chaplain, I will tell you first and foremost that you cannot make the pain go away. But as a chaplain, you can be with them to show them that they are not alone. In a more religious understanding, you cannot tell a patient that God WILL perform a miracle in the next 5 min. But you can tell them that God is with them and suffering with them and is trying to help them through the darkest moment of their lives.

Why?

Because even though God is capable of performing miracles, God has always been a God of relationships, which includes being there when you need God most. And when it comes to suffering, no one else understands it better than God.

You wish you can do everything for the patient. You wish you could make all the pain go away. To some extent, it is possible...not in a flash or a miracle (please let God do what God does best)...but through smiles...and jokes... and memories of loved ones and good times...and prayer...and holding hands while praying...and hugs...and tears...and reminding them that God is still present at the bed side and in the waiting room.

Exhaustion

2011-06-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, been busy with other things that I'll talk about sometime next week. But to sum it all up since last week it has been this sort of feeling.

Exhaustion.

You have no idea about the sense of exhaustion you go through spiritually, emotionally, and physically every day. It's not hard, but the job as a chaplain is demanding because you are always there for another person. which means that you don't focus on yourself. Sometimes it means putting on a smile when you don't feel like it (though I've never experienced that because i smile at everything). Sometimes it means feeling the same emotions your patients are going through. Sometimes it means going from one end of the hospital to another. The focus not on one's self always puts you in a place to always give yourself to others, and always placing you in a trajectory towards exhaustion.

The first day we were told that for extroverts you will be exhausted by the emotions, the amount of people you have to talk to and sometimes deal with, the suppression of your own triggers of memories/emotions, etc.

I'm not an extrovert...i'm an introvert (high level), which means that all this drains me quicker.

People ask me how i'm doing, I tell them I'm tired. Which is true, but not in a bad way, I tell people that it is good to be tired because it means you did something which was probably meaningful.

But I must watch out for exhaustion because it will lead to me being burned out. and i've felt it for the past week or so. I feel like i can get into a schedule, and then a code blue or a death comes up and puts me behind.

I just need to slow down, breathe, take my full lunch, rest, relax, and be ok with not getting through the entire list. This is the advice given to me by the resident chaplains, Nancy, Ron, and Joy, as well as Chaplain Francis.

Why CPE?

2011-06-22T19:52:00.000-07:00

If you have been reading this blog regularly, you may be asking yourself "Jon, why do this?" Simply stated, it's not easy, definitely draining, and tough to do on a daily basis. But, it is my calling, and I was never asking for it to be easy or comfortable or relaxing.

Today was the roughest day that I've had in my program. I was present with a family all morning while they followed their mother's wishes and pulled her off of the ventilator. I sat/stood with the daughter who was only 17 yrs old...reminded me of all of my youth kids back home...as she reminisced about how she fought with her mother about little things, how her mother won't be there to see her graduate from high school, or just support her while she grows up a little more. But this young woman was mature enough to know that her mother has been in physical pain for the past few years and knew that this was for the best. I told her that it was normal to blame yourself but in the end you won't be ok...you won't get over it tomorrow...because I know that your mom was everything to you...but you will get better and stronger.

The afternoon I was called in for another death in my unit, as I stood by in support of the family mourning over the loss of their loved one. The son came up to me and told me "God bless you Jon, I will keep you in my prayers...take care brother." I shook his hand, gave him a hug and told him, "likewise brother, as families in Christ stick together."

Pulled in many directions and just feeling wrung out by all of the emotions in the last two days, I was asked to see a patient. This patient was the very first patient I met and prayed with in the program. Even though he was at the hospital for three weeks, I thought at times that he was going to pass away. But seeing him go from not speaking, to barely waking up in MICU, to then sitting up in bed, to sitting up in a chair in regular clothes, I was truly amazed to see how God worked in his life for the past few weeks through doctors, nurses, family members, and friends. After shooting the breeze with him, I said a prayer of thanksgiving and blessing with him along with his wife and daughter, and saw him leave the hospital. The day before he left, he told me that miracles do exist. I told him today that he was living proof that miracles do exist.

Why CPE? Why learn how to be a chaplain in a hospital? It's because you learn why you believe. You learn how to be in the darkest moments of the lives of others when it may eat you up inside because they need someone to tell them that God is there with them. You learn how to be less awkward when people are real with you. But most importantly you learn that you go in there so that God can help others through you. I'm learning that more and more. and as much as I felt I was put through the ringer today...I am so glad I was there to be a pastoral presence for those families who lost their loved ones. I am so grateful to be that spiritual tool for God to use. And I am very honored to be there to share joys and sorrows with others.

Feeling Blue

2011-06-21T18:37:00.000-07:00

So, one of the things that chaplains must do for their unit is that when a code BLUE is called, all chaplains responsible for that particular unit must check in with the charge nurse. This is in case of the fact that if a patient passes during a code blue, you can be there to provide support for the staff, the patient's family, and for the deceased.

Today for my first code blue that I had to be present. Luckily, the patient didn't pass away, but for me this was a new experience to see something like this. I stuck around at the suggestion of other chaplains, and got to meet the husband, who was nice and fairly calm about the situation...In all honesty I wonder now if he even knew. I left because I felt that the husband needed some space to let others know what is going on, but I stayed with him while the doctors and nurses asked him questions. I prayed for both of them. and continue to pray for all of them and the other patients I visit/have visited.

Hawaiian food in Virginia

2011-06-19T18:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I was craving hawaiian food tonight. I looked for a hawaiian food place earlier with no luck, then i found one by accident. It's a "Ono Hawaiian BBQ" place, which is more popular in socal so I was expecting the same quality.

You may guess where I'm going with this...

The door has many awards posted on it, but what I begin to notice is that they have won the award not for best restaurant or hawaiian food, but "Chinese".

Yup, This particular "Ono Hawaiian BBQ" serves Hawaiian food AND chinese food. Still doesn't deter me from eating here this father's day evening. So I order a Curry chicken plate which they give me fried wonton skins and salad dressing as an appetizer (wasn't bad at all, so no complaints). And they bring out a full order of the chicken katsu and a huge bowl of curry. I thought to myself, this is awesome...until I tried the curry sauce. For those who don't know the differences between curry, this was not hawaiian curry, which is similar to Japanese curry except more milder. This curry was more on par with thai curry, because it had coconut milk and pineapple. It wasn't bad at all. But it wasn't what I was expecting.

Tied into this understanding is a level of culture clash that I have mentioned but not like this exactly. So like, they have these stores like "dollar general" and "family dollar" except they're not really dollar stores. Virginians have their own accent, which is subtly different from a "southern" or a "northern" accent. And the correct way to say Portsmouth and Norfolk sounds like "Portsmith" and "Nor(*bleep*)". I can't come to terms actually saying it how it is supposed to be pronounced so I still sound like a foreigner. The best thing over here other than the people are the gas prices...I don't know how much you're paying down on the west coast, but I filled up my car paying 3.59/gal.

Aside from things i've noticed and all the things I've experienced, please know that I still miss home. Thank you very much to those who have been checking up on me to make sure I'm ok. I'll be alright, but just know that I miss you all.

What to say...

2011-06-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

Last night was my first night staying overnight at the hospital. The spiritual care dept. tries to provide 24 hr access on the weekdays for those who are dealing with a spiritual crisis or just need a pastoral presence for whatever they're going through. Last night was a particularly quiet night, which was good for me to "ease" in to the feeling of staying overnight at the hospital.

After 3 hrs of sleep on a recliner sofa, I woke up bored after taking a shower and waiting for the rest of the hospital to wake up. But as I stared at my computer screen, the custodian walked by. We've talked before as she has been in charge of our floor. But this morning we actually had a conversation about our calling in life, as she asked me what brought me to become a pastor.

I answered her by saying that my calling was based in a faith community where there was/is/will be a need, and my gifts, talents, and passion complement that need. She thought about that and then gave me her spin on this. She comes from a place where she couldn't pinpoint what she was good at, as she excelled in everything. She has a degree but has never used it. She has three kids and does not have the time or energy to explore what God really wants her to do. But the most important part is that she knows that God is not calling her to be a custodian, because she hates her work.

I didn't know how to respond, so I continued to listen to what she has to say. She understands that with a calling comes a level of patience, and maybe this is a lesson to learn. She believes in God and is a church goer, but between being busy and her frustrations, she feels out of place. I wanted to tell her that her calling is in her children, or that her calling will come soon, but I felt that she has heard people say this to her. In the end, I just said that God calls everyone towards something, and its always changing. She agreed with me on that, and we talked about other things from that point onward.

I hope that she finds her calling. I don't think it will be a burning bush, though it would be helpful. But I hope that God does move her in her life to be spiritually inspired.

The last two days...

2011-06-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

I would like to talk about the last two days.

I was going to post about yesterday, but in light of what I'm about to talk about, I decided to wait for some of the graduations to pass.

With that said, in the last two days, I have witnessed two major things to see how God works in their lives.

One was a death. One of my patients had a rough night to say the least, and the family was upset. I tried to look for them after I sat with the doctors and nurses, but couldn't find them to talk. I was in the office area when I got the call from another chaplain saying that the patient died, and when I arrived, the family just arrived. They asked both I and the other chaplain to leave the room, and they mourned over their loved one. We both waited at the door, giving comfort as a pastoral presence. They left, and I prayed over the loved one's body.

The other story was another call for the chaplain for a patient who was about to die. We got upstairs and the family was getting ready and saying their goodbyes. There was a mini crowd of family members, and we filled the room with chairs. After many others came to share their gratitude for the patient, their pastor said an amazing prayer, in which I as well as the full-time chaplain waited outside to help with anything but to also give space for the family. I stood outside while they took the patient off of the respirator, and I heard sobbing, and people falling/fainting. I walked out with some of the family members to the nearby lounge/waiting area. After some time, we hear word that the patient is breathing on their own, and they will be transferred to a larger room to accomodate the 12+ member family sitting bedside. To my knowledge, the patient was stable when I left the office around 5:40pm. One of the comments that adds to the story is that the patient is a fighter; a stubborn one who won't give up. And I saw that today as I watched through the patient's window and stood by with the family.

I bring these two stories up because they are both signs of God's love eventhough they have two different outcomes. It's not that God loves one less, but it's not also that we'll ever fully understand how and why God did what God did. I heard a story today from another chaplain who said that when loved ones pass away and we are not there to say our goodbyes, it is God's way of alleviating that pain of saying goodbye, and that it is time for the deceased to return to God. I believe that, but I will tell you that it is hard to stand in front of it and tell it like it is. As for the other story about the patient continuing to fight on for life, there is something miraculous within the presence of God through those who believe. The above story from the chaplain does not fit at all with the second story, and yet it is still an act of grace and mercy of God.

I've been working as a chaplain for about 9 days, and yesterday was the first death I have experienced. Today was the first time I stood by a family on the edge of losing a loved one. Within these two different outcomes, I can still see God working in the lives of the patients and the family and friends who stood by them.

I took the rest of the afternoon lightly, and hoped the best in prayer for the one patient still fighting for their life.

Class of 2011

2011-06-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

To the MYF Graduating class of 2011,

I know that today was graduation sunday at Faith UMC, and it marks the first major events that I miss due to being on the east coast. I asked some of you to speak in front of the congregation, but because I couldn't be there in person, I did ask Chad to see if I could listen or possibly watch you give your faith testimonies. I heard Darin talk about how his musicianship really was inspired through the church, and for Jonathan to talk about how he wouldn't really cry on stage but acknowledge that real men do cry. And I saw Derek be strong and tall standing up and speaking in front of the congregation. I saw Janey be grateful for the support that the church has given her in her life. And finally, I saw Andrew well dressed for the occasion but also grateful for the church providing opportunities for camps and leadership opportunities.

With that said, I think the congregation really appreciated the words you all spoke, but also the words that you didn't speak as well, as I only was not able to ask all of you and there possibly could have been much more to say. The church has seen you grow if not for the past four years, but for your entire life to be mature adults (well, close to "mature" at least). By you going to church, they have seen how God has worked in your lives and it means a lot to them. Most of all, I am proud to have seen you grow in the youth group, watching how God has moved your lives to become leaders and role-models for the next generation.

Thank you seniors for the silliness, the dumb jokes, the randomness, and the love. Thank you for being the ones who led the way for the other MYFers and not completely scaring off the advisors. I miss you all very very very much, and wish I could be home right now to hug you guys for those who did a good job speaking and to congratulate every Senior at their graduation from grade school. Good luck on your future endeavors, and I hope that God continues to work in your lives.

Jon

The Law of Buy-in

2011-06-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

So our CPE director wanted us to read a chapter titled, "The Law of Buy-in" which I used google to figure out that it comes from John C. Maxwell's book The 21 Irrefutible laws of Leadership. Basically, the leader comes before the vision...and that vision revolves around moving the people where they need to go.

It's my second day visiting patients and my first day on my own. It's no where near as bad as I heard, though I won't lie that I fear the "horror" stories on the nights that I will be on-call. Aside from learning procedures and making sure I see patients, the patient really gets a few initial impressions of their Chaplain.

That means your perceived image is everything when you step into that room. That includes body language, the clothes you wear, the things you say, the smile on your face, the smell of your breath, and the attitude/demeanor you bring.

It works for you and against you. Maxwell alludes that as a chaplain, patients already buy in to the idea that you are a spiritual leader and you're there to help them. It can work against you in certain situations: they aren't the same spiritual afiliation/denomination as you, the same age as you, etc. It is when your tone of voice, your understanding of the situation, and your professionalism is what completes the view of a Chaplain.

But it is all to say that our job as a chaplain is not to prove we are chaplains, but to give help and guidance that the people need. I sat down with many people today listening to their stories and just reaffirming their lives in some cases and asking the right questions in others.

Getting my feet wet

2011-06-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

Today we walked on the floor. Today and tomorrow I follow Joy who is a resident intern and is just amazing both in her care and as a person. I was handed a list of patients on the floors I was assigned, and Joy helped me introduce myself to everyone while giving me a tour as well as what floors/units she was assigned to.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I really had a good time. Fumbled a little because I wasn't ready to say a few prayers, but all-in-all, it wasn't too bad. too bad at all actually, because I wasn't alone. And i mean that in the sense of following Joy, but also that the patients were wanting to know who I was too. And I also mean that God was right there with me.

I think that for the past few days I've been psyching myself out thinking that I would freeze up and just be in a state of shock. I assume that it will happen sometime down the road, but at least for now, I thought to myself "I can do this" or "this is exciting" but always "There is no way I could do this without God."

(Dis)orientation day

2011-06-06T17:49:00.000-07:00

I started my first day today, and it was overwhelming. The good kind of overwhelming, because it is the verge of starting. We learned a basic overview of what CPE is (clinical pastoral education), and what the program entails. I won't just be walking around the hospital. I'll be assigned a certain number of patient beds, and spend time with patients within the behavioral medicine. I told a few of you that I would possibly be working with teens in behavioral medicine, but it may actually be with those dealing with addiction or any adult patient within the behavioral medicine.

As we went through the day trying to get a feel for the program and a feel for those who will be watching over us as well as those within the program. As the director spoke, I began to ask myself, "what did I just get myself into?" because it's real ministry...I don't want to say the wrong words and scare people in their faith or be yelled at because I offended someone or represent my denomination in a bad way.

I went running today to clear my mind. I know right? I don't run, and I don't run in this heat, but I did because it was a lot. As I ran and afterwards when I got home, I began to understand something of my own faith that gave me comfort. I remembered two things that the director said - the first was that we as spiritual care pastors is to learn how to meet someone in their own valley, in reference to Psalm 23's Valley of the shadow of death. We figure our own way how to get into that valley without backing out and without understanding how the other person got there and without ever going there previously. We represent that connection with God to that person in need, and you can't fail at that. I'm not sure who said this, but they said that failure is not counted by wins or losses, but by failing to try in the first place. And I'm willing to go in that valley. I traveled 2800 miles to get into that valley.

The second thing that the director said was in response to what i said about doing services and stuff. He said that he's excited to see what I will do WHEN it happens. I thought about it...and admitted that I am too. 10 weeks of meeting with people in need and in their darkest times, and the care that I bring them is a representation of what I personify and/or bring to the table. In other words, I bring my experiences, readings, assignments, youth/camp work, and my understanding of God to each patient I give care. It works for me and against me, but that is what the next 10 weeks are about.

Honestly, the most overwhelming thing about the day: trying to figure out where I am in the hospital.

One week in Virginia

2011-06-05T17:49:00.000-07:00

So, after being here in Portsmouth for one week, I've learned many things about myself, the house(mates), the town(s),

Let's start with the house. I'll be leaving out the names of everyone for safety reasons, but I have 3 housemates, one of which is the owner. The two other roommates I rarely see (I met one on the 3rd day I was here, and the other on the 5-6th day). The owner however is awesome - he collects antique Christmas decorations pre-1950. To get an understanding of the house, the house is decked out with vintage Christmas stuff. The owner owns a long-haired chihuahua, and both spend a majority of their day on the second floor of the house (which has its own kitchen!). Everyone in the house is cool, and does their own thing.

Portsmouth is an interesting town/community. I've hinted to it, but i'll just say it...It's not the greatest town, but apparently it's getting better. I won't jog into the neighborhood, but I may take a walk near the waterbank. Portsmouth is part of a community of towns known as the Hampton Roads. It fulfills towns like Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Ghent, Chesapeake, Hampton, Newport News, etc. but all the towns are separated by water practicaly and you have to go over bridges or tunnels --> aka, traffic can suck. I've ventured into most of these towns and have used my GPS to find Costco, Target, and Filipino/Hawaiian food. There's two things you should know. First is that Norfolk has the largest naval base in the world --> there is a lot of people in the military over here. The second is that there is no restrictions/limitations placed on truck drivers --> truck drivers think that they own the road. I almost got into a car accident because a truck driver just merged into my lane...and then had the nerve to tell me to get the hell out of the way...Let it be known that I appreciate CA's laws on truck drivers, because they shouldn't drive as fast as the rest of the nation. Oh, one last thing. Portsmouth runs on Wal-mart. no question. If you need anything, the best place to go is Walmart.

Which brings me to me. I learned that i'm comfortable not wearing shoes in the house, but there being a dog and three housemates that do wear shoes, I don't take them off outside my room. I don't like sitting around doing nothing, and will try to get out of the house even if that means walking aimlessly around Wal-mart. I learned how to hem pants for the last two days, remembering what my mom taught me, as well as youtube, and making it up as I go along. But one thing I learned about myself is that I do have difficulty adjusting to new places. The day my dad left, i did wander aimlessly in Walmart not because I was bored but because I didn't know exactly what to do other than go home. And most of this week I've been either sleeping in my room, buying things I need for the next 10 weeks, talking to friends back home, working on church stuff, or playing video games (THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO BOUGHT ME STARCRAFT 2). And if it wasn't anything of that, it was thinking about what I'm going to do when I go home.

Boredom does have it's curses I suppose.

Luckily I start my program tomorrow, and I bought a TV to keep my company while i'm at home...most of these feelings will subside for the time being. Thanks again for your support and love and prayers, I will let you all know how my first day works out tomorrow.

Jon

Settling down

2011-06-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

So after a couple of days living in Portsmouth, I thought I would share with you what my room looks, since I don't really leave too much because IT IS SO HOT. you can see pics with comments of my room here, which is just a room, but the cool part of it is that it has 6 doors. Apparently, this room was originally made to be the dining room...100 years ago. that's why one room led to the living room (now the dining room), the front door (now barricaded), the outside patio (not barricaded but suggested not to use because of the security system), and the kitchen (which is now transformed into another bedroom and the door is permanently screwed in). Read the comments to the pics, it gives you a better idea and I don't want to type this twice.

Driving from California to Virginia

2011-06-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

Hi! I'm bringing back my blog to talk about this Summer as a pastoral intern across the country. I've traveled over 2800 miles by car to get over here, and in about 4 days I will start my program. Until then, I just wanted to leave a post to describe the things I've noticed on the drive to Virginia. Every day, my dad and I took turns driving in shifts. We drove through every type of terrain and every type of weather, stayed in motels that were nice, not so nice, and the kind where you triple-check the door to make sure it's locked. Below are random facts, but I'll have to get the gas mileage and the MPG some other day. BTW, my pics of the roadtrip are on facebook. Also, if you have a skype account, my screenname is jvisitacion. Thanks!

Freeways primarily drove on: I-70, and I-64
Number of days: 6
Longest period of driving in one day: 12 hrs
Shortest period of driving in one day: 1.5 hrs
Notable Places we ate: Thelma's Filipino Cuisine (Henderson/Las Vegas, NV), Smokey's BBQ (Denver, CO), Arthur Bryant's BBQ (Kansas City, MO), Casa Gallardo (St. Louis, MO), Steak and Shake (St. Louis, MO), White Castle (St. Louis, MO), China Inn (Lexington, KY), Tamarack Food Court (Off of I-64, WV), Mexico Restaurant (Richmond, VA), Susanette's Filipino Cuisine (Virginia Beach, VA).
Best thing I ate: Smokey's BBQ, Thelma's, Susanette's, Arthur Bryant's, Steak and Shake, White Castle, Tamarack Food Court.
Worst thing(s) I ate: Quality Inn continental breakfast (Lexington, KY)
The state that had the most diverse driving conditions: Colorado
The state that had the worst "welcome" sign: Missouri
The state that had the most wild animal sightings: Kansas
The state that had the most road kill: Kansas
The sate that had the goriest road kill: Kansas
The state we stayed in the shortest: Arizona (45 min)
What California has that no other state had on this trip: restricted mileage for truckers (it's scary seeing a semi driving 75mph)
What every other state has except California: Decent rest stops with stall doors that are not lined with graffiti
The coldest temp: 30's
The hottest temp: 90's
Places we visited: Cabela's outdoor/hunting store (CO and MO), Bass Pro Fishing Store (CO and MO), St. Louis Arch (MO), Santa Claus, IN, Tamarack Artesian Center (WV)

Thank You

2010-08-19T21:24:00.001-07:00

Hi to everyone, as this email reaches to you in the off-month for MYF where I can rest and reflect upon the joys of the past year. I thank God very much for what he has provided for the MYF group as well as for myself.

With that said, I wanted to share with you all this email as a letter of thanks. I am so grateful for what you all have done: the parents, the advisors, the church leadership, and congregation as a whole. Most of all, I would like to thank all of the MYFers for everything they have done for the group, the church, and for the future of MYF.

To the parents and congregation of the church, I would like to spend a moment to say thank you, as you are the guardian angels of the group as well as those whom watch over myself. I appreciate how much time and effort you have put into the MYF program, if that means chaperoning retreats, driving youth to events, help make food for fundraisers, and allowing me to be part of your youth's lives. I am very grateful for you all checking up on me and making sure I'm doing OK and asking if there is anything I needed help with.

To the youth, you have no idea how important you are in my own faith journey. Countless times I have been so proud of you, as you have stepped up in leadership, hard work, and effort throughout the year. You are all the reasons I need to work on lesson plans and events, because you were the reasons why I wanted to become a minister. I was considerably blessed to see you all showed your love and support for Mike in the worship service, the end of the year bonfire, and the worship service at Asian Camp. I believe that it is this love that keeps the MYF group strong and supportive of both youth and leaders.

I realize that there is no way that I would be able to run this ministry alone, and that it takes the combined effort of everyone to make the youth group such a strong presence. Thank you very much for all that you do. Thank you very much for the appreciation gift you gave me as well as the many other gifts throughout the year. Thank you for letting me into your lives and being part of your family.

I love you all and do not know what I would do without each and everyone of you.

Jonathan Visitacion

Mission Trip To New Orleans - Day 1 - traveling

2010-08-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

Hey, sorry for not posting in FOREVER. I can't sleep, as i'm in Slidell, Louisiana about to begin our mission trip 5 hours from now...

its 1am.

I'm just overwhelmed by everything right now, as I heard that the organization has lost its funding, and this will be the last year they will be able to serve the community.

I was reading through Ecclesiastes ch 1 and 2, and listening to Jack Johnson's all at once, and it was just reiterating the spiritual "stress" that I'm trying to swallow on this mission trip. It's hard to remember that you make a difference, but the world moves and doesn't stop. God wants you here in this moment to do His (or Her for gender equality) work. At the same time, funding stops when there's still houses to be built, people living in FEMA trailers, etc.

If you are familiar with the starfish story...I just got to remember to save not all of the starfish...just this one and any others I can put my hands on.

I ask for your prayers at this moment for the youth mission team, and just that God does not stop doing his work for those still struggling after Katrina...now 5 years later.

Blessings. -JV

How to Make a Micromovement

2010-05-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

from the book, Tribes, by Seth Godin

You got something worth fighting for? Seth Godin says that you do. He believes you can change the industry with just an idea. Below are listed what it takes to create an online movement, adding my own thoughts to them. (103)

Publish a manisfesto – Your idea must be bigger than you. You have to believe that your idea must be worth putting out into the open. It must be faithful to the cause, and faithful that others believe the same thing. Publishing does two things: creating visibility and begins interest.
Make it easy for your followers to connect with you – If your idea is good, people will want to know who made the idea. People want to understand who put this in front of the world. People want to make your a leader. Besides making sure you have contact information out into the world, people want to see if you embody the idea. People want to see if you have a vision, and a goal, and if they can join the cause.
Make it easy for your followers to connect with others – if you want movement, you need to create a body. A body does not move part by part. Rather, a body moves together as one. Make everyone meet each other and know their names. Let them learn how to get along with each other and work together.
Money is not the point of the movement – Money can corrupt an idea. Take for instance, a fundraiser. A fundraiser in itself is for a bigger idea. But so much effort can be put into the fundraiser that you can lose focus towards the idea itself. If you have a purely good idea, you don't need money. You need faith.
Track your progress – The only way you know that you have reached your goal is when you know how far you've gone. Seth says make your followers help you. I would go one step further and say make them part of the progress itself. Make them understand how far they've come in reaching a cause. Have them personalize it and own it.

Church And Dating Suck

2010-04-08T23:28:00.000-07:00

I've been on hiatus for a while, but decided to put up post because Holy Week is now over.

So my girlfriend is mad at me for good reasons: I was an hour late picking her up from a night class. I was at a meeting at my church and time flew by. My phone was silent, but little did I know there was 2 voicemails, 5 missed calls, and 3 text messages waiting for me when I checked.

And so, as I speed down the freeway in a 30 min commute, I reflect on how difficult it is to become a pastor and maintain a healthy relationship. I feel like that relationships between pastors and soon-to-be pastors do sacrifice and have that tension of balancing time.

It's hard.

It's tough.

It sucks. I don't want to sacrifice my relationship for my calling, nor do I want to put my vocation on hold either. Thank God that my girlfriend is so forgiving about these things, but even then she can only take so much, giving me the silent treatment on the way home. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Eh, I don't feel stronger, just guiltier.

Does anyone have stories about this!? I don't think it's just me, I just talked to a friend of mine who's starting to go into seminary...she told me that guys are kinda repelled by the notion of dating/marrying a pastor. I know I'm not alone on this...

I feel like as pastors we deal with it because it is the life we are called to live. But not really for our spouses, though they understand what it means to any full extent. So they're pulled along not necessarily because they're forced to, but because they're willing to sacrifice for their significant other. I try to hold onto my girlfriend whenever that realization of love comes into my mind, and I thank God not only for her presence, but for her willingness to forgive me when I do something stupid like being one hour late and not call.

So what should I do? I don't want to do this again in the near future. Shouldn't there be like Pastor-spouse counseling sessions or group therapy? or even a seminary class? A pamphlet that says, "so you're going to date a pastor..." or "A relationship between a spouse and pastor" would be helpful.

Today I want you to use both sides of your brain

2010-03-18T17:13:00.000-07:00

So, I wanted to lift up a book to you this week called Flickering Pixels, by Shane Hipps. Two words: Awesome book.

Ok ok, two more words: thought-provoking...(would that make it one word?...nevermind)

I wanted to lift up some questions pertaining to the direction of Spirituality, Christianity, and Technology that have come up from reading this book. I would love to hear your response in the comments section or just link to your post. If you don't have the book, you can use one of the resources below:

A group of bloggers from churchcrunch.com posted reviews of the book by chapter. Here's the first link to navigate your way around...fair warning, the chapters are not in any particular order...like numerical...yeah :)
Jennifer Kay Smith posted some insightful blog posts a year ago, which are connected to the questions I'm about to ask. I suggest you read her posts on the brain, the telegraph, the changing of us through technology, and the transformation of community to individualism.
Guy Williams added to the convo, adding some more interesting links you may like.
Shane Hipps has his own blog, and his website. Take a look and if you would like, subscribe to his podcast.

So, here are my questions:

Going forth into a new technological-christian frontier, we need to keep both eyes open to the past culture and the media shift of web 2.0 (here's a link to what i'm talking about, I realize I'm saying this a lot...), as there may be an erosion of memory, but an expansion of consciousness and overall good (20). What would be some benefits or concerns you would see as a pastor or church goer who would want to stay as a physical church body? What about a "virtual" church body? In what ways could we balance this?
Video killed the radio star. The same could be said about moral relativism and traditional ways of evangelism due to the personalization and privatization of faith/christianity (on p.64-65, but in other words, there is no absolute Truth, but individualized non-congruent truths). What is Evangelism 2.0? --> How would you talk about your faith to another person about Christianity? Would the overarching goal be to convert the other person? Do you believe that the world is not trying to find an absolute and unifying Truth and if so, what are people trying to find?
I feel that Hipps is making a concern on the pages leading up to p.71 about Christianity: Christianity with Web 2.0 can put out the information about the religion faster, but that does not mean they will understand it better. "Christians 2.0" may get a bombardment of religious information they will ever need, but have no understanding nor the wisdom to do something with it, calling it a perpetual puberty of Christianity (72). How do we train/create leaders to bring understanding to the faith in social networks, blogs, etc.? How do we help Christians sift through this knowledge to get the linkage between a virtual faith and a physical praxis (acting AND reflecting on their faith)? How do we help as religious leaders the wisdom of living their life according to their faith?
Left Brain, Right Brain. The left side controls the deep understanding of the Bible while the right side controls the deep reflection of the Bible. With the dawn Web 2.0 and the mass usage of images and light-reading, the right brain is more emphasized and the left brain is more downplayed (143-147). Hipps thinks this is an issue. Should this be a concern? How can we change it?

I would love to hear from any of you. But most importantly, I would love to hear if I'm asking the wrong questions. What questions should I be asking when it comes to Christianity and Technology?

Jon

Opening up the conversation

2010-03-10T22:36:00.000-08:00

I am just amazed by the powerhouse theologians tonight at the TAG conference. Prof. Phillip Clayton started off the night to show that theology means in an age of Google. But it should be brought to the point that the internet will revolutionize and evolutionize Christianity just like the printing press has. No longer will we be evangelistic. No longer will we be progressive. There will be no lines. Just connections.

Callid Keefe-Perry closed off the night rocking the house, inviting everyone to come and be open to the conversation. Even heretics/heretic-hunters like Ken Silva who has been bashing this conference left and right.

So I pose a question for all to join the conversation...

I literally just saw this commercial on TV, but understood it as traditional Christian theology. Traditional theology has failed you. But I ask you: how will you participate in building a theology that builds community rather than divide it? How will you join in the conversation rather than denounce it?

If you have time, try to watch the live stream of the conference or the twub feed here. we would all love to hear from you while we're in the conference.

Jon

Theology After Google

2010-03-08T19:23:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons why I started this blog was for a class requirement. As the class has progressed, so has my understanding of the influence and interaction between our evolving culture and our everlasting Christian theology.

Something must change.

Here's how.

The class I'm in is part of a conference that I hope that you can attend. It is called Theology After Google. There's no need to link to it, because there's a huge link to the right of this blog. Click on it, and you will see a lot of people both in the emergent Christianity realm and in the emerging technology/networking realm.

It will cover ideas and thoughts about:

Having the church catch up in a social-networking, blogging, and tweeting world
Emergent theology for mainliners
Blogging Basics
Emergence through biology and theology
One word spiritual reflection
Energizing your church with social media
Film making from a theological standpoint
Web 3.0: the human evolution of technology and theology
Podcasting 101

Be there or be here listening to the streamed version on March 10-12!

Jon

Reflecting on Brian Mclaren and Small Business School

2010-03-08T15:06:00.000-08:00

I received a comment from Small Business School in response to Brian McLaren's new book, A New Kind of Christianity. It made me think about the image of the church in terms of continuity, symmetry, and harmony. I've tried processing what this person was trying to describe as he writes about the relationship of perfection and business that incorporates religion.

After one week, I've tried to reflect upon it here. Thank you Small Business School for your comment and your article.

I want to say that I did like your article. It was certain that the boundaries that was set within McLaren's book does not pertain to the whole in terms of philosophy, theology...Christianity. It disrupts continuity in the sense that it feels like a step backward in the evolution of Christianity. It looks unsymmetrical in its relationship, and creates a form of chaos that does not reflect the harmony of Christianity.

An initial observation from a religious stance is that the three factors of religion that you describe is very Buddhist in its nature. Which is fine, but the argument that you put against McLaren seems to be just as restricting when you describe religion in three purposes. It is as if a Muslim argued against a Christian for not thinking past the Bible, but then uses the Koran for their argument. I don't think it promotes the best dialogue because I there needs to be an understanding that both come from different paradigms. Be as it may, I wanted to try to interact with the three factors that Small Business School had mentioned in their article.

Continuity - I would like to say that the history of Christianity has always shown and promoted times of discontinuity. In the Bible, if Moses conformed with what he was given, would he have ever freed the Jews? Jesus' life is based upon defying those who were the religious leaders of his day, and if he were to have continued that life there would have been no such thing as Christianity. In a more tangible sense, Martin Luther's life was criticized for going against the Christian norms, but in many ways, he along with many others including John Wesley led to the creation of protestantism. a few centuries later, a man by the name of Martin Luther King Jr. will also defy millions of Christians to fight racism. On a bird's eye view, Christianity has evolved and been continuous towards perfecting life. It is also certain to say that life is not perfect. At all. Therefore, there will be a need for those within Christianity to show various insights of the world - some will look radical and will cause an uproar like McLaren's book. There can also be an argument that perfection in a continuous sense is subject to the paradigm/viewpoint it was formed within; as we move towards a deeper sense of perfection, there is more difficulty to bring everyone together. I don't expect everyone to be on-board with McLaren, and if it is not to succeed then I will let God make that call. Rather, using his book as a springboard into the issues for today's Christians will give those dividing answers of what people really believe what perfection is. I believe what McLaren is trying to do is simply to show us where the problems/"forks in the road" where Christians do not agree with each other.
Symmetry - A symmetrical relationship in terms of religion seems to be the most confusing, as I was not sure if it was meant in terms of vertical relationship between God and person, person-to-person, or in other relationships with church and God, church and people, etc. Truth is, we live in a society where relationships are becoming...something not traditional? I'm confused too. I think that there's a point to Small Business School where symmetrical relationships are important. To add onto that, I want to say this: how do Christians define a symmetrical relationship to God, the church, and to the world? I personally think that many Christians do not understand their relationship with the other OR the relationship has been unsymmetrical and always biased towards one side.
Harmony. My first sermon was based upon a story of Jesus where he describes himself not to come down to this earth to bring peace, but to divide nations (here's the best way I can describe this). I concluded that this may also deal with the creation of paradigms. You can create harmony, but it is always contained within the paradigm itself. Paradigms shift when this harmony is conflicted, either with the problems associated with the paradigmatic viewpoints, or with the solutions associated with the problems. I believe that Brian McLaren's book was not meant to bring peace to Christians...but to just think of what issues the world has to offer. A person may his/her answer in the Bible; others may find it in community of Christians, or in the relationship with nature, science, culture, society, or in prayer. It reaffirms the paradigm they are within, or it sparks a new paradigm, creating that continuity that religions provide, but the beginnings of a harmonious relationship that needs to be more clearly defined both in reflective understanding and practice of faith.

I think a more systemic issue pertaining to the contributions of the article for business that relates to religion is that religion is a business. I think you can find some pastors who would admit that administratively, the church is a business that provides an exchange of services. My argument is that the church should have never adopted this understanding. There is a need for the church to provide services in order to stay afloat. It makes the church safe and comfortable. Keep in mind that I have no background in business. But I would hope just like in business, for the church to take risks in order to achieve greater continuity, symmetry, and harmony.

I hope this spurs all Christians and non-Christians to comment on this post. Thank you very much.

Let Brian McLaren's voice be heard again!

2010-02-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

This is the second part of trying to uncover what Brian McLaren has done in his book, A New Kind of Christianity. This post goes into depth the last 5 questions that his book covers. Before that, please

Question 6: What do we do about the church? – My classmate Min Ho did an awesome job about writing on this question from the book, which you can read here. For those who would call themselves Mainline Protestant, I suggest you read some of the comments on that post. Min Ho’s blog just puts it bluntly: how do we turn our presently broken churches into a house of Christ-like love?

Question 7: Can we find a way to Address Human Sexuality? Simple, have classmate Bob Rhodes blog about it here. I won’t lie, the first page or two of these chapters will catch you offguard, but how can you not like this: “Fundasexuality is rooted not in faith, but in an orientation of fear” (175). Why not put the two most personal things together in dialogue within the church: God and Sex.

Question 8: Can We Find a Better Way of Viewing the Future? I hope so. In simple terms, I can’t see Jesus and the rapture being the “way to go” in 2012. Rather, can we understand that God and the universe are in relationship with us. Mclaren, have you ever heard of process theology and John Cobb Jr.? You get hints of it from the first chapters, but there is this line that I think you hit the nail on the head: “God is like a parent guiding a child with a will of her own.” (196)… “The future is open, because the compassion and care of God are unconstricted, open wide for us to turn and find a better life than we’re now experiencing by taking a better path than we’re now walking.” (203)

Question 9: I think my classmate Jan Thomas can give the best perspective, because she is an advocate for inter-religion and unity. There’s a book written by Paul F. Knitter who describes how Christians have/will relate to other religions. I suggest you read it so that you can at least identify where you are. But like McLaren, interacting with other religions has more than just religious importance (208). I personally have came to my own conclusions through my own family: although I may not fully understand or agree with those who are not Christian or a derivation of it, I know that they are family (both personal and under the umbrella of “human family”) and will love them indefinitely.

Question 10: How Can We Translate Our Quest Into Action? Classmate Angelina Duells’s blog posts describe the how Brian McLaren writes about the different quests of Christianity. Please take a look at her rainbow diagram, which by the way, is awesome J. What I liked most is what she quoted: “When the head, heart and hand come together...then faith, reason and tradition will come together too, and personal and social holiness will be for us two expressions of one great love.” (227)

Angelina made one last blog post about this book, commenting that this book doesn’t really bring a new Christianity. To some extent, I agree: we still use the same tools of Christianity we were given before. However, I would like to add that Brian is redefining a new relationship: something that is in the process and will never finish unless we (as people, religious leaders, and Christian shepherds/pastors/leaders) actually engage in it. Maybe McLaren is not posing something new about Christianity, but something new in relationship to Christianity: redefining our relationship with God, Jesus, the Bible, with Christians and other religions, with ourselves, with our worship, with life. He started the book saying that we are Christians living in a “comfortable captivity” (31). I think its time for all Christians to start engaging in dialogue: not one-sided or gender/racially/socially-biased, but to bring to light what the rest of the world has been feeling for years. The kingdom of God is near: let us all bring a new relationship of Christ into full light. Amen.

McLaren's Book...two more chapters online!

2010-02-27T22:43:00.000-08:00

Brian McLaren's new book has 2 more chapters you can download! go here

http://www.brianmclaren.net/archives/blog/a-new-kind-of-christianity.html

Let Brian McLaren's Voice Be Heard!

2010-02-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

Hmm… There’s no way in which I can write all my thoughts about Brian McLaren’s new book, A New Kind of Christianity. In what has began as a class project, I would like to speak on behalf of someone who supports what Brian McLaren is proposing in his book. Type McLaren’s name into Google and you will find that this pastor and his book has been described as a “heretic” from the right side and repetitive from the left. I hope that through this post (and the next…) you would feel compelled to read this book. This post will try to expose your mind to the first 5 questions, with insight from my classmates and other bloggers.

Question 1: What is the storyline of the Bible? What we have come to understand is that the way we see the Bible has been interpreted over and over, largely in part towards Greco-Roman influence and superiority. If we strip away what we have understood as the six-lined narrative, we can see God and the purpose of Jesus in a new light. We are a product of 2000 years of being shaped into Christianity, emphasizing all the “good” and ignoring/killing/excommunicating the “bad”, “indifferent”, and “marginalized”. I suggest you watch McLaren’s answer. Chad Holtz gives an insightful perspective of what McLaren is trying to do in the first couple of chapters and in this first question here. Scroll down halfway.

Question 2: How should the Bible be understood? McLaren suggests that scripture could be, and has been used to defend and advocate any position like constitutional law (78-79). Rather, think of the Bible as an “inspired library” that has kept track these conversations so that we can continue them (83). My classmate, James Kang, takes a different direction in his blog, asking, “when will BIBLE 2.0 come out?” Chad Holtz explains his take as well.

Question 3: Is God violent? Depending on what chapter, verse, or book in the Bible can give you a range of depictions of God. You could potentially choose who you would like to pray for, as McLaren mentions Ricky Bobby as a sad example (first 2-3 mins). McLaren poses that the negative images of God need to be understood as the best depictions that our Christian ancestors could describe with words (103) and that the full image description of God has been in constant transformation to something that is culminated into what we know and to believe is Jesus.

Question 4: Who is Jesus and why is he important? McLaren is so focused on the issue that Christianity has heavy Greco-Roman influences because Jesus’ life was based upon moving away from the Greco-Roman life (126). Using the book of John, McLaren describes Jesus as the new Adam bringing a new Genesis to the world (135).

Question 5: What is the Gospel? McLaren uses Romans as the moving point: to understand the gospel that Paul preached, we have to understand the gospel that Jesus preached, which in its most raw form, it is to know that the Kingdom is at hand (138). This Kingdom, as McLaren brings to life through Romans shows that it is the presence of everyone and everything being encompassed underneath God. The Kingdom is now.

I will leave you with this until next time. Mike Morrell wrote a blog in defense of what McLaren is trying to do, which McLaren appreciates as well as I. Here is a few things of what he said:

…From my vantage point, Brian is now doing what many wish Obama would do: Grow a pair and say “You know, my message isn’t for everybody. I’ve been very diplomatic for years, but that hasn’t gotten me very far with those who continue to loathe me and my message. So now I’m going to speak plainly to those who like these kinds of conversations, which can still be all kinds of people. Except for those who, by general disposition, are inclined to (yes) ask “Is it acceptable to my religious/ideological community or belief system?” before they ask “Is it possibly true, valuable, and worth exploring?”…

Like Mike Morrell, McLaren is not above criticism. In fact I believe he wants constructive criticism. That’s the whole point. Lets actually talk about the things that we put our entire faith into.

I have no idea what Generation We're in Now...

2010-02-08T17:27:00.000-08:00

Before doing any homework assignment, I do what I (and what I believe anyone younger than I) would normally do: look for anything that I can find about it online. We were asked to read Tom Beaudoin’s book, Virtual Faith, where Beaudoin explores Christian theology from the standpoint of GenXers. A very brief review of the book can be found here, as well as an article of Beaudoin can be found here. Currently, Beaudoin is teaching as a practical theology professor at Santa Clara University.

As we reflect on his book, which was published over 10 years ago, my classmates are divided by their opinions. My classmate and friend, James, finds that this book may be too late for those who are post-GenX, where another classmate and friend, Angelina, writes about the validity of the book for GenXers but brings to life the pop-culture that is immersed within it.

I write to you not about to write a review, as I have not read a majority of the book. I do want to post midway into reading to engage my thoughts and my peers. In this case, I carry more of a stance with James’ opinions, but receptive to the ideas that Beaudoin brings to the table with his book and with his life.

Although this book has nothing to do with my generation, I believe there are many things to note:

Generation-defined culture is only one genre of culture. It’s safe to say that the world is multi-cultural by age, ethnicity, gender, geography, social/economic status, etc. As future religious leaders, we should be aware of the various cultures associated with GenX to engage in a more effective ministry. Furthermore, there is a need to understand the relationship between cultures. In this case, there may be a need to understand where GenXers came to be from the Baby Boomers, as Bedouin goes into detail of the origins of GenX. There should also be an equal need to understand where the next generation is being pushed by those who come from GenX.
Relative to any form of reading, it is important to make the world relative to your frame of view – in this case, your cultural identity. I realize that I am not part of the GenXers, but the struggle to identify the differences between the theology from the Baby Boomers and the GenXers is something to reflect upon my own generation and the generation prior.
Technology extends our senses. In a recent blog video posted by Callid Keefe-Perry for our class expresses the writings of Marshall McLuhan, explaining that “the medium is the message.” GenXers as described by Beaudoin do not see the world the same way as the generation before them. Pop culture has been their viewing window into the world. They have been witnesses of a generation of good leaders who were assassinated, and they kept their sadness in. I bring all of this in because the culmination of technology of that time period gave them this view. MTV was a major influence upon the GenX culture. I Googled/wiki’d what other factors defined GenX: home computing, internet, video games, and birth-control pills, to name a few. To believe that all of these things had no effect on GenXer views of Christianity is to hide underneath a veil of unconsciousness. I think there may be some usefulness to describe how technology extends our theology, which is the core belief of Beaudoin’s book.
I am very aware that culture does affect the frame reference of Christianity, whether it is intentional or not. Agreed, Christianity has this built-in understanding that we can change the world through the transformation of the Holy Spirit. These two articles (one written by my professor, Phillip Clayton, and the other written by Pastor Chad Holtz) dialogue on the emphasis of Christianity on culture or visa-versa. It is my understanding that Christianity from a missionary point of view was most effective by adapting and emerging from the native culture. Many countries have been assimilated into Christianity with this method. If that is the case however, the world will always change because of Christianity, and Christianity will always need to acclimate to whatever culture it is immersed in to be effective. Yes, another chicken and the egg routine similar to James’ blog comments, but also promotes the need of new age theologians who can incorporate new technology and new culture.

I hope that Christianity is affected by technology, because Christianity needs to be more influential in the technology used today. I do not mean this in any evangelistic notion or anything, but rather, to ask how modern technology has affected Christianity so that we as Christians can develop theologies and theological practices for emerging generations/cultures, whether physical or virtual. Here are some weird notions you can all play around with:

What are the latest technologies that have been made or exploded in popularity within the last 10 years? Do they have any relevance to the changes/trends on Christianity or religion in general?

Some things to consider: cell phones, laptop/touchpad computers, ipod and other MP3 players, Kindle readers, Toyota Prius (Gen. 2 and 3), multi-core computer processors, digital cameras, Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary, Facebook, Twitter, etc.
More random things to consider: YouTube, Farmville, Xbox 360, Wii, doppelganger week, etc. (also, the emergence of nanotechnology in the various fields of science. History goes back as far as 1960’s but has been more mainstream within the last 10 years.)

There have been people who have emerged in amazing popularity within the last 10 years who have played a role in our culture and Christianity as well. They may have also affected Christianity in more ways than none: Barack Obama, Taylor Swift, Star Wars Kid, Beyonce Knowles, Osama Bin Ladin, Miley Cyrus, Dave Chappelle, Manny Pacquiao, Sarah Palin.

Technology now seems to be in a place where new technology does not extend the senses farther, but extends the senses faster. What does that mean to Christianity?

Can Christianity be just as effective in virtual communities like Facebook, twitter, Myspace, blog communities, and other virtual environments like instant messaging, chat rooms, etc.? This is the big question to where my TAG class revolves around, but I mean it is worth noting if a person could take all the various aspects of Christianity and create a theology that is relative to the current generation, maintains a level of practicality, and has the capacity to hold onto past theological doctrines/commitments.

I’m done :)

-Jon

Claremont School of Theology And The United Methodist Church Parting Ways?

2010-02-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I received an email from my school that said the following:

“The administration of Claremont School of Theology learned last week that the University Senate of The United Methodist Church placed the School on Public Warning and embargoed denominational funds for the remainder of the School's fiscal year…”

Not the best email to read right before you go to bed…

As I continued to read, the email writes for that this will NOT affect my ordination process into the United Methodist Church. I have been dwelling over the news while I slept to reflect on my attendance at Claremont School of Theology (CST).

I entered into CST in the fall of 2008. I had been aware of some of the issues pertaining to the school, but I still decided on attending. As I continued my first year at the school, I realized that the school was making positive efforts to have the school receive its full accreditation status. I believed at that moment that attending this school was a good decision.

Reading the news release being placed on the school, as well as comments and responses, I do not know what to exactly think of the vision and direction of the school. The school has always held ecumenical openness in high regard and has pushed towards the respect of all religions ever since I have attended classes. This has allowed me to be more respectful and culturally sensitive to persons of other religions, as it has been my own personal pet peeve when people from other cultures naïvely step on my toes. On my own behalf, CST has been able to show me that culture has been the key to inviting others to Christ, whether that means by reflecting on the historical Christian missions or through the community presence of Christ. However, CST’s new vision and direction has placed the “golden child” of the UMC on the “naughty list.”

One of the reasons why I wanted to attend was because this used to be one of the prized seminaries of the UMC, but the direction of CST places the school in tension with the UMC organization. Some pastors like Talbot Davis believe that the vision of the seminary looks like a form syncretism due to the absence of Jesus Christ or Christianity (which I must add, I too did believe this when I first heard of the new vision of CST back in September). It would seem that way unless you hear CST president Jerry Campbell speak of the overall vision of CST becoming even more inter-religious than before. This would allow other religions to come to an academic institution to study their own faith while interacting with others. Financially speaking, it's a smart move because it allows the school to pull in a larger pool of students. On another note, it would help those from other religions to become leaders through an academic setting that they may not have had the opportunity to before. More importantly, I believe that it is true that an inter-religious seminary to have the potential of strengthening Christians because they are more aware of the world around them, and can affirm their own faith against a religiously/ethnically diverse school. After all, I have been here for almost two years and still believe in the salvation of Christ and the presence of God's love in the world.

Jerry Campbell, the president of CST, assures that this will be cleared in the next few months, just in time to have a worry-free summer. Until then, I will keep my faith that the issues between CST and the UMC will be clarified. CST has not failed me, as it has supported me in many different ways, one of which was affirming my calling into ministry. To not have the support of the UMC would be a disappointment to me as well as many other pastors and CST students/alumni.

Please let me know your thoughts and prayers. God bless!

Jon

My call into ministry through the story of Moses

2010-01-26T21:27:00.000-08:00

The story of my call looks like the story of Moses. Moses started out with a very lucky life, growing up Egyptian but knowing he was Hebrew. Following who he was, and standing up for what he believed was right, he had to run away from his Egyptian life. While climbing a mountain, he was startled by a talking burning bush, which told him he was to free the Hebrews. Moses laughed and made up as many excuses as he could: no one would believe me because I can’t talk good. No one will listen to me because I don’t have special powers. God handed him a stick and said, “just wiggle this stick a little, it will look like a snake and get everyone scared.” Moses finally takes God's word and frees the Israelites.

For me, my own story starts out following a life that was leading up towards another career. I had been studying Computer Engineering for four years, graduated with honors, went to UCLA and started failing. Wasn’t exactly sure why, but I started to realize that my identity did not fully lay in the engineering field. After toiling with this sense of failure for two years, I started hearing a call that made me and my family laugh. God gave me the call to serve his people, but I at first laughed, and told God, “my mouth is very dirty, I can’t say two sentences without saying f-this or a-that.” I told God, “I don’t like speaking in public” but God told me that’s why I put you in public speaking classes. I told God that I don’t look at the Bible in similar eyes, I don’t study it like other “good Christians”, and God told me, “I never wanted you to look at the Bible the same way as anyone else.” Every illogical reason I had to not become a minister, God had either previously prepared me in one form or another, or used logic to calm them. And so I’m now walking the path that God has put forth in front of me, but if he makes me carry stone tablets, I’m going to be so mad.

I have a googlely dream…

2010-01-24T20:36:00.000-08:00

I’m reading this book called What Would Google Do? by Jeff Jarvis, who writes the about the phenomenal business “rules” of Google. As a class assignment, we were to read the book and post our thoughts.

I only have read about 1/3 of the book, but I have read what has been posted online about this book. Jarvis challenges the reader to see what was said about your company, so it seemed fitting to see the google-juice that has been posted about this book (which our TA-instructor Trip Fuller has graciously collaborated!). I will try to summarize my thoughts below:

It is quite remarkable to see many things come to life as I read them in the book and what is happening on-line. Not only do I see a post from Trip Fuller, but I see a reply from Jeff Jarvis (and btw, I wish you were here in the class). The connection of the internet under the “google-rules” seems to be that there is literally nothing in the way between me the writer and you the reader; everyone and everything is at your fingertips.
What makes the transformation of the world so powerful is the effect of multiplicity. It has been theologized in Christianity/Bible (“When two or more are gathered…”) as well as been incorporated into many other religions, but has also been used as an effective business tool by Google and other companies. Donations to Haiti have sky-rocketed due to the effects of multiplicity, having common people like you and me donate $10 every time I send a text message to Red-Cross. Multiplicity gives power back to the people in an institution. Multiplicity gives control back to the people.
What would Jesus do in a Generation-G world? Jesus lived a private and a public life. He liked to pray by himself and he also liked to teach people and heal others of sickness. In a modern context, he represents a facebook page where he can set his identity both private and public. As Christians we are to live a life like Christ, spreading the Word of God and transforming the world with love. I feel like the internet gives that platform to do just that. As Christians we can “surf” into uncharted territories, we can give our opinions, and we can help the world in much simpler ways than ever before.
What would I do in a Generation-G world? Everyone has at least one picture they were happy to not get posted online, and usually at least one picture they wished they could take offline. How do I stay public to the world around me and maintain an identity that keeps me pastorally above reproach? The answer to me is simple: be a human that filled with flaws but sincere to the love in Jesus Christ, publicly displaying your identity in Christ to show a spiritual journey that you had to take to get to this point in your life.
I wonder what kind of business the church would be described. It’s not a big wonder to consider the church as a business: there are consumers who pay for services, and the church provides necessary services to the consumer in the form of worship services, pastoral care, blessings, etc. I’m not saying that this is Christianity (I hope this is not Christianity) but what a business model would look like if it was overlapped with it. However, as Jarvis makes us ask the question: what business is the church in? It definitely cares and serves the people. It brings the presence and love of Christ. It serves the community on any platform or context. We bring faith and hope to those who have lost their way. The church thrives of the generosity of the community that gives back.
I think there is some truth to the polar opposites of Apple and Google when compared to Christianity. Historically speaking, there is a built-in hierarchy in Christianity that we cannot ignore; certainly having a “Google-Christianity” would mean that the people themselves would be the source of the power. The church is built on 2000 years of tradition; the internet is anything but tradition. Then again, doesn’t the church function because of the laity? Doesn’t the transformation of the world begin with the people? The love of Christ comes from top-to-bottom but also from bottom-to-top.
Pastor Stu’s Blog is something to highly consider. The church is in decline, sad to say. We are trying to lure people into our church instead of going out and providing services to them. The internet provides all of the resources for us as clergy/theologians because it provides the people with the problems and the people with the opinions/criticisms/affirmations/hope that life will get better.

I think that’s all I will blog for now, I still want to finish the book! Peace and love, Amen.

The first post...

2010-01-21T17:40:00.000-08:00

So this is my first post on this blog... what to say... People try to write something epic for their first post, try to entice and persuade. Few things come to mind however as I try to write this. Well, let me try to describe myself. My name is Jon Visitacion, I go to Claremont School of Theology. I'm in the process of becoming a minister, and life in itself can be described in three words: "exciting", "stressful", and "hungry". Exciting because I chose a life in ministry and haven't looked back, Stressful because I've never read or wrote this much in my life, and Hungry because I haven't ate dinner yet. More to come soon, thanks for reading! -jv