Well, maybe not exactly 10 weeks, but pretty close. Soon, I will be moving from Los Angeles to San Jose. It's going to be the biggest change of my life since spending 10 weeks in Virginia, and the biggest move I'll be making since I moved to LA.
I have a lot on my mind. As I get closer and closer to moving up north, it gets harder and harder to function normally at church. I think it's getting harder and harder. I'm trying to make time for everyone, make sure that it's a smooth transition for everyone when I leave, make sure I say all my goodbyes and finish up the list of "to-do", "to-see".
People ask me if I'm excited to move down. I am. I want to be closer to my girlfriend and closer to family, learn different ways and meet new people.
But what I feel now is sadness. Lets be honest, I'm not the one who does well when it comes to being thanked or appreciated; I have a hard time receiving love in comparison to how much love I try to show for others. You may think I'm talking about two completely different sentences, but it really comes down to this. I feel loved by the church and I will have a hard time saying goodbye because I showed my love through my actions and dedication.
I'm not sure what to express: gratitude for what I had/have/will have, sad for what I'll lose, excited for what I'll gain, frustrated that I can't clarify, express, nor relieve the thoughts in my mind.
I lift up my prayers to you God. I hope that you bring sanity in my life, and I hope that God will do the same for you.
All at once, the world can overwhelm you,
There's almost nothing that you could tell me
That could ease my mind.
